February
15, 2005
Perhaps
now, at the end of the Gameboy Advance's lifespan, we can look a
little more honestly at what this little handheld could and couldn't
do. I really enjoyed many of the sprite-based games, but found nearly
all of the polygon games to be a disappointment. In fact, I don't
think there was a single great polygon game ever released for this
thing.
The
hardware just wasn't built for it. A number of skilled development
studios tried their hardest, and one or two pulled off some impressive
demos, but when it came to finished games, it's nothing but one
disappointment after another.
Can't
anyone make a good racing game anymore without analog control? It's
shocking how quickly twenty years of game design are forgotten in
the Polygon Age. When was the last time any of you designers sat
down and put a quarter into Roadblasters? Didn't you at least try
Motoracer Advance or Moto
GP?
Electronic
Arts gave about as good as they can with SSX 3; it's far
better than the first Advance SSX, which more closely resembled
a train wreck than a videogame, but the game still isn't very playable.
Everything just chugs along at such a slow clip. Snowboarding should
feel like an adrenaline rush, but this game can barely make it above
a light jog.
SSX
3 offers a number of solid features, including a variety of
snowboarders, multiple courses, and item upgrades. The production
values are good, the music samples are cool...yadda yadda. This
is all so tragic, isn't it? None of this really matters. When the
game actually starts, it just drags. Movement, flying, stunts, everything
is far too slow to be of any use. What good is a racing game that
can't, well, race?
Again,
the hardware was never built for these kind of games, and for that,
we can thank Nintendo for their short-sightedness and avarice. That
arrogance has cost them dearly since Sonic
the Hedgehog dealt the
knockout blow in 1991, and we've been watching the tragic fall ever
since. I remember when Nintendo was the videogame
industry. Now their consoles are rendered irrelevant, and Sony's
Playstation Portable will likely take away what's left.
A
game like SSX 3 is a good metaphor for Nintendo's sad state
of affairs. If my wisdom counts for anything, I'd advice them to
get out, now. Go to Sony and Microsoft and cut
a deal while your brand name still counts for something. Get out
of the hardware business while you still can; in another five years,
you'll be worth about as much as 8-track tapes.
The
Console Wars are over; take the money while it's still on the table,
Nintendo. |
