Italian Roast
Sometimes, when the chips are down, you need a good coffee. This is arguably the best.

Rating: * * * *

Coffee Book o' Doom Ratings

In the tradition of the late, great Next Generation Magazine (which had nothing to do with coffee), I decided to use the five-point scale for the Coffee Book 'o Doom.

* -- Poor
* * -- Average
* * * -- Very Good
* * * * -- Excellent
* * * * * -- Revolutionary

March 24, 2003

I wasted a year of my life working at Starbucks. This ongoing series is my revenge.

Smell:

1. Strong, smoky flavor, masterfully campfire-esque.

Slurp and Locate the Experience on Your Tongue:

1. At first, Italian is sharp, concise, clean. But a darker shade lies underneath.

Create Your Own Positive Description:

1. Italian's defining characteristic is how brilliantly it captures the smell of campfires. It's worth it just for this effect.

This coffee Goes Best With (and further notes):

1. Italian is coffee with a surprising depth, a duality between a few sips and the second cup. This is a beverage that betrays no secrets and rewards successive viewings.
2. Perhaps, however, because of this, an aftertaste builds up on the tongue over time. This becomes the charming guest who is overstaying his welcome. I would suggest food that balances the palette (bananas come to mind). Taking a lot of this coffee on an empty stomach is not recommended.
   

Every Starbucks employee is given something called a "Partner Coffee Passport," a book where Baristas taste the coffees, write down their impressions, and then recite it all back to the customers.

The joke, of course, is that these "impressions" are often quoting the instruction books. Baristas are expected to parrot back what Marketing says.

This approach never sat welI with me, so I wrote down my honest opinions. After all, Starbucks asked for it.

The moral lesson: don't become another faceless corporate drone. And pour your own damn coffee! Dag-nabbit!